Milk for Bella & Lilah
Filed Under Breastfeeding, Danny, Maddi, Videos, friends, photos | 1 Comment
So, on Tuesday morning, I shipped off some milk for twin girls, Bella and Lilah! It was exciting. I love sending milk off, but at the same time, I hate doing it because then it’s out of my hands and I can’t guarantee its safety.
It might sound really weird, but I’m incredibly attached to my breast milk. Like, amazingly so. I cry everytime I ship some off. I know. I’m weird, but I can’t help it. It’s just a very emotional thing for me.
I got to use UPS for the first time though! I’ve only ever used FedEx for it before, but I’m just glad that Bella and Lilah’s parents had an account! I absolutely hate doing shipping without an account. It’s just so much easier with one!
I sent 324 ounces. I think that’s the most I’ve ever sent in one shipment, but then again, it is for TWO babies, and not just one! lol
Danny trying to steal Bella & Lilah's card!
Maddi wouldn't take a nice picture!
Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse…
Filed Under Breastfeeding, Family, School | 1 Comment
Yep. Just when I thought things couldn’t get much worse….
I pretty much bombed my Anatomy midterm. I’m hoping that I at least got a D but I’m kind of doubting it. It sucks. And I’m really disappointed in myself. But at the same time, it’s not really my fault. I don’t get the help I need. Dan says he helps, and he does, to an extent. But he dosen’t help the way he could. I’m constantly cleaning up and if I’m gone for a day, i come home and everythings 10 times as bad as it was when I left. And when that happens I just don’t care. I stop caring anymore. Why the fuck should I keep doing shit if it’s going to keep getting worse and worse and no one appreciates me enough to even help a little and give me the time that i need to study.
I’m thinking about dropping out. And I feel like a complete and total hypocrite for saying it, but what else am I supposed to do? Keep throwing away money on something that I can’t even do and will amount to nothing in the end anyways? Because if I’m just going to bomb out, why the fuck am I even bothering with it?
And on top of that, my grandpa wants my breastmilk out of his freezer and so does my step-dad. I don’t know if my grandpa meant it threateningly or not, but the way he said it before he left for vacation in Wisconsin, he said he’d leave my precious milk out on the porch to melt if it wasn’t out of his freezer when he got back. And I swear to god, just the fact he would even think about doing something so horrible to something he knows is so important to me, makes me almost wonder if he really cares about me or not. To top it off, the freezer we got was used, but it worked when we got it, had ice and was frozen and everything, but apparently it dosen’t work anymore. We plugged it in, messed with it and nothing. It simply won’t work now. So, all the milk is at my father-in-law’s house now because my grandpa will be back tomorrow and we don’t have money for a freezer until January.
And on top of that, I haven’t been pumping as much milk anymore because I don’t have anywhere to put it and I think it’s affecting my moods/depression. Everything I knoew about breastfeeding is that it releases those natural “feel-good” horomones, and I’ve had to cut down on pumping drastically because there’s nowhere to put it and I could never dump it… so… Maybe that’s part of why i’m so freaking depressed lately?
Punk Rock Maddi
Filed Under Maddi, Videos | 2 Comments
She runs! She laughs! She… Falls on her face. All while wearing a plaid mini skirt and brightly colored fake hair.
No clue why, but this one made me think of you, Midori!
In Summary
Filed Under Contemplative, Danny, Love, Maddi, School | 4 Comments
Ok. A lot has happened recently, so let’s sum it up.
- I went to my workshop in Anchorage to be a birth doula. I finished it, had a blast and now have an official title. I am now Samantha Van Vleet LSP.
- We fixed AJ’s memorial cross on the way back from Anchorage because it had fallen down. We added some more flowers, re-enforced it with nails through the center (instead of just twine) and restacked the rocks. Hopefully next time I can bring som caulking and make the rocks stick together.
- I’m catching back up with school. Still doing decently.
- I discovered the starbucks bottled mocha frappuccino recipe (it’s on the blog post before this one.)
- Maddi is talking a lot more.
- Danny sits up for a second or two by himself.
- My computer got some kind of crazy malware on it and it crashed. Thankfully I had enough time to move my files and pictures to my husbands computer and then did a factory restore on my computer.
- It’s getting colder and I hate it.
- I ordered the materials to make my cloth diapers and I’m excited for those to arrive.
- I finished two more baby carriers, and just need to take pictures and list them on the shop.
- I cut out all the peices for seven more baby carriers. Just need to order the straps.
- I’m trying to motivate my husband to get our freezer up and running so my grandpa dosen’t set all my frozen breastmilk on the porch to melt when he gets back from Wisconsin. Dan dosen’t seem to get that my grandpa WOULD do that, and then I would NEVER speak to him again.
So that’s what’s going on in a nutshell.
Other than that I’m just really depressed lately. I feel like nothings going right. I feel like a complete failure and I keep feeling really tempted to just drop out and say to hell with it. I can’t do everything. I clean. I cook. I take care of kids. I do my homework. Sewing is my hobby and I didn’t even get to do that at all for almost a month except for two nights ago. Dan seems to think doign a tiny bit of tidying up counts as cleaning, but he leaves all the intensive stuff for me. I fold laundry. Because his idea of folding laundry is sorting it into piles on the couch and leaving them there for Maddi to spread all over the house. He actually emptied out the dishwasher yesterday, but I get the feeling he only did it because I was mad and I told him to do it while I was picking up Maddi.
I just don’t see a point to much of anything anymore because no matter what I do, it’s never enough and no one cares. Dan dosen’t care. He just want HIS time free so he can “relax” all the god damn time. And by relax, I mean play his video games and watch TV. He acts like he never gets to and he’s soooo deprived, but he does it everyday.
I don’t get that. And no one cares if I do or not.
Starbucks Bottled Mocha Frappuccinos. RECIPE!!
Filed Under Love | Leave a Comment
Okay. So anyone who knows my husband, or at least knows him well, knows that he goes on what I call “drink binges.” He goes through a phase where he drinks one specific drink, several times a day for weeks on end. Since we’ve been together, he’s gone through… Mountain dew, sobe energy drinks, mountain dew again, amp, monster, wild cherry pepsi, dr pepper, wild cherry pepsi, and now those bottled starbucks mocha frappuccinos.
Let me begin this with: I HATE STARBUCKS. I have worked in two coffee shops. And starbucks is by far the epitome of corporate greed. They jip their customers. Overcharge. And are just overall a bad company with a mediocre product.
That, and I don’t really like coffee.
That being said, Dan still does. And money’s tight and those drinks are almost $7 for a four-pack! We can’t afford to be paying that much for him to go through two, three or four a day! Forget it! And there is no offbrand for them either!
So, I tried to find a few recipes for the bottled insanity, and I found two that seemed good. A recipe by The Kurths and a recipe by Christopher. Both recipes were good ones, but I altered them a bit, and kind of combined them.
First and foremost, if you come across a recipe that requires pectin, DO NOT USE IT! It was gross! It thickened the drink up, but it made it taste like chunks of solidified lemonade was in it! EWWW. And also, I do NOT recommend using hot cocoa mixes, or chocolate powders and syrups. I tried those first, and it just made the whole thing taste off.
Bottled Insanity
1 1/2 cups brewed coffee*
6 cups 2% milk
1/2 cup of sugar
5 tsp of unsweetened cocoa
Brew your coffee and then pour into a medium to large size pot. Add sugar and cocoa. Stir until dissolved. Add milk and stir until well blended. Funnel into intended storage containers and refridgerate.
Yield: This recipe will fill around 5 of the starbucks glass bottles.
*I recommend using 2 1/2 cups of water, and 1/3 cup of coffee grounds and running it through once. However, if you would like stronger coffee, use 3 1/4 cups of water, 1/3 a cup of coffee grounds, and when it’s brewed through the first time, pour the already-brewed-coffee into the back and let it brew through again using the same grounds.
That simple! Easy recipe, huh? It only takes about 5-10 minutes to make after the coffee is brewed. And when I calculated it out, it only cost me about $0.30-$0.45 cents per bottle of it! 
Much better than the $2-3 per bottle it normally is!
Anyways. I’m smart. And I feel accomplished.
Medela, WOW!
Filed Under Breastfeeding | Leave a Comment
So, wow!
I am seriously impressed. I’ve never had to do any kind of warranty stuff on anything before, but my old pump, I bought it back in November of last year, before Danny was even born. Anyways, it DIED on me in July. Completely died. We ended up buying a second one because my boobs were going to explode if we didn’t.
Anyways, my second one is messing up. It won’t hold a charge and the battery is all messed up. It works when it’s plugged in, but if it’s not, it won’t hold a charge!
So, I called up customer service expecting a huge hassle because I didn’t have a receipt, and I told her about both pumps! They’re going to overnight me a new pump motor! I’m excited! And if my second pump dosen’t work after 24 hours of charging the battery, then they’ll send me another one!
Yay for AWESOME customer service!