Hair Extensions

My daughter cut her hair today.

It was a terrible, horrible mess.

She cried so hard. She knew she did something wrong. She knew she couldn’t fix it and she was devastated. And I knew exactly how she felt. My mom cut my hair short, like a boy’s when I was five. But I also had a group of adult stangers scream and argue in front of me about whether or not to shave my head, they even recommended checking out the best electric shavers to buy in 2017 … and one even sat on me while the other prepared to do it… And just recalling how scary that was… how panicked I felt… my hair had already been cut short… but to have it shaved off by strangers I didn’t know?  My heart jumped up in my throat when I saw my daughter crying over her hair.

So I did the only thing I could think of to fix it and stop that pain. Call it shallow. Call it vain. Call it whatever you want to. Maddi made a mistake, but it doesn’t mean she has to be punished day after day for it… Reminded every day about her short hair. No, short hair isn’t ugly, but it isn’t what she wants. She didn’t understand that cutting hair is permanent (at least until it grows out). My heart just broke for her.

Yes. I got my four-year-old hair extensions. No, I don’t think I’m being shallow or vain. The poor girl cried, sobbed and shook in a way I have never seen her do when she was faced with the possibility of her hair having to be cut short or left messed up, I also got her castor oil so her hair grows faster. I felt bad for her. I took pity on her. The same way that strange woman took pity on me and told them not to shave my head.

Talking about hair, make sure to check A laser studio in Fort Worth if you are in the area, the other day I found one of the best ones, where I think I’ll be spending lots of time from now on.

Comments
13 Responses to “Hair Extensions”
  1. Britmama07 says:

    It warmed my heart this morning to hear of you taking such consideration of your daughter’s feelings 🙂 She learned about not cutting her hair just from doing it. But she learned a whole load more about mothering, love and grace from watching you.

    It is not shallow or vain to help out a child in distress, even in that way. Just unconventional lol. I would never have thought of that answer to the situation. I’m glad you did though. I bet it meant a lot to your daughter.

    PS. I found your blog from throwing ‘teen mom blogs’ into google about 6 months ago. Something about your story really speaks to my heart. I havent commented before now because you have no idea who I am and why would you care what I think. But today, I really wanted to affirm you and your selfless choice for your daughter today.

    • Samanthavv says:

      Thank you for your comment. I really like hearing from people who read my blog, and so long as you aren’t being mean, then I do care what you think!

      You hit it right on the head though. Discipline is important, but sometimes, there are situations where showing grace and compassion are even more important. She was so upset that she couldn’t stop shaking. How could any parent see their child so emotionally distressed… and punish them further by chopping the hair they have left off? We all make mistakes, and yes, mistakes have consequences… But really, the way she felt after cutting her hair was consequence enough. She didn’t need to be punished with super short hair for the next who knows how long.

  2. Danielle says:

    I think you did what you could for your daughter. I saw your post on Babycenter.com and thought the women on there were being a little harsh. To be honest if i had a daughter and the money i would do the same thing, especially knowing you can reuse the extensions she has in. She looks beautiful. My sister has hair right above her bottom and she would want extensions if she cut off her hair..lol She is nnot one for short hair. Some girls just like long hair, i dont think you were teaching your daughter anything bad by fixing her hair thats what mommys do 🙂 kids can be mean at her age and i would NOT want my 4 or 5 year getting teased and made fun of bc of her hair to teach her a lesson. I think that is mean. She is 4 years old she most likily didnt even realize that she was really doing something wrong until after the fact. Luckily I just cut the hair off my barbies 😛 but my dad did cut my bangs one time and he cut them completly off and i want to wear a hat to school, i think i was about 5 or 6. Just over look the negative comments bc you did what you felt was best. and extensions are expensive so $80 to me is a pretty good deal. The colored ones are cute for her age.

  3. Cathryn says:

    I think you displayed exemplary parenting skills in this situation. Your empathic response to your daughter’s distress was authentic and I commend you. I don’t think your decision was vain or shallow in the least but came from a deep place of understanding and heartfelt connection.

    She is a lucky little girl!

    • Samanthavv says:

      Aww. Thank you Cathryn. You just made me tear up a little bit!

      I love my daughter and I do my best to be the best parent I can be to her. I went through a lot of things as a child that no child should ever go through. I’m not saying that having short hair is one of those things that a child shouldn’t ever go through… But because of what I went through… and how distinctly I remember my feelings when I was in those situations… I try to keep those things in mind when making decisions for my own children.

      I have a history of an eating disorder. Not because I’m obsessed with being thin, but because of control issues. Some people have pointed this out and accused me of projecting my own body image issues onto my daughter through the hair extensions, but it really isn’t. What I remember as a child who had shorter hair than she would have liked, was that I hated how I looked. I felt so ugly and awful. Every single day I’d go in the bathroom to brush my hair and just get sad when I saw my short, ugly hair. I’m not saying short hair is ugly, but to me, it was. I didn’t like it and it didn’t matter how much my grandmother told me I was pretty. I didn’t believe her. It took YEARS for my hair to grow out… and by the time it did… I was already so used to hating myself and how I looked that I just never stopped.

      I guess my point is… A child my daughter’s age is setting the stage for the rest of her life. If she spends the next couple years hating her hair and how she looks then she just might never stop and those feelings might turn into something worse, like an eating disorder, depression or other issues stemming from poor body image. The extensions might seem “shallow” or “vain,” but people seem to forget we’re talking about a four-year-old. A child that age isn’t capable of very deep or wise thought and we can’t expect her to be. A four-year-old’s life is sparated into two categories: like and don’t like. My daughter is beautiful, long hair, short hair and even no hair! But if she doesn’t believe what I’m saying, it won’t matter one bit, so what’s the harm in giving her something that makes her feel good and beautiful? Don’t we do this as adults? I know I feel especially pretty or sexy after I get my hair cut and styled, or a cute new pair of jeans. What’s so wrong with letting a little girl get that same boost?

      Anyway, sorry about writing a book as a response! I’ve just been thinking about it a lot lately!

  4. Sarah says:

    I think she looks adorable with the extensions! It’s not like your being a crazy pageant mom getting them for a show and tanning her and crap like that haha she was upset and needed her hair back! I don’t see the big deal 🙂

    • Samanthavv says:

      Thank you. It can be really hard to do them on her because her hair is so thin that the rings show through no matter how low we do them! That, coupled with how short she cut the top part of her hair… well.. it’s been difficult. But she likes them. It’s actually been a great motivator for her. I tell her, if she doesn’t do her chores and behave, I’m not going to put in new extensions or redo the old ones. Never seen that kid work so fast! lol

  5. Krista says:

    Why did you leave Facebook?

  6. Krista says:

    Do you have my email?

    I tried texting you, but I didn’t get a response.
    Krista´s last blog post ..Down with Technology!!

    • Samanthavv says:

      My phone number had to be changed because of the issues I emailed you about. I emailed you at the address that’s listed under your username on here with your comment. Hope that one works!

  7. Krista says:

    Yep, that works. 🙂 I’ll go check it.
    Krista´s last blog post ..Down with Technology!!

  8. woo, it looks better after cut her hair, cute girl

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