Finding My Father…

A lot of people don’t know this, and a lot of people do, but my paternity has been a mystery to me since I was born. They thought I was one man’s child for two years until a test proved them wrong… And then they thought I was another man’s child for twelve years until yet another test proved them wrong. After the second test, my mom refused to tell me who my dad was. Eventually she told me, but not until I had turned eighteen and spent six months in bible bootcamp being forcefed religion and damnation.

When I got back, I looked for the two names she gave me. But there was so many people listed in the white pages by those names… People all over the country. I even went as far as to call some of them. I thought about mailing them all a letter, but postage would have been a few hundred dollars! I gave up for a while.

My husband and I didn’t really agree on the issue. I still think we don’t. He thinks that by searching for my father I’m being inconsiderate to any wife or kids he may have now, and I’m not thinking about how this will affect his life. I know it will affect him, but even if he has other kids, I have just as much of a right know my father as they do. For sure, when time comes I will give my father a trimmer for his beard with some beard trimming guide.

So, I’ve decided to find him. I’m going through the military to do it this time though. Sometimes the military is able to help locate active duty personnel or former personnel. I found the address to the National Personal Records Center and the U.S. Army Enlisted Records & Evaluation Center. I wrote them both a letter requesting information on the two men, and enclosed a stamped envelope containing a letter for each man in the event that they are able to find them but unable to legally release the information to me. That way, they can address the letter and send it to them.

Now it’s just a matter of waiting. Four to six weeks of waiting.

I’m nervous. I’ve always wanted to find my father… But I’ve always been afraid to. It’s one of those things where you want to do it, however, you’re too afraid to do it. You keep putting it off.

But, I’ve made up my mind this time.

I’m going to do it.

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I am Samantha. I am twenty years old, and have a gorgeous little girl, and a baby boy who I am expecting in May. I am married to my best friend in the entire world. I am a full time student, and am torn between pursuing a career as a midwife, or going to medical school to become an obstetrician.

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