It still hurts…

Today kind of sucks.

I’m trying not to let it get to me, but today is one year since I lost my baby. It’s really hard to not get upset. I know that I wasn’t that far along… But it still hurts. It makes me really sad and I have a hard time with it.

I’m trying to be positive and think about the things that happened positively… Like that I became even more resolved to fix things with my husband (at the time we were having problems) and I got pregnant with Danny shortly after… And if I hadn’t had the miscarriage, I wouldn’t have had him… I try to think of those things to keep me from being sad…

But it still hurts.


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I am Samantha. I am twenty years old, and have a gorgeous little girl, and a baby boy who I am expecting in May. I am married to my best friend in the entire world. I am a full time student, and am torn between pursuing a career as a midwife, or going to medical school to become an obstetrician.

2 thoughts on “It still hurts…”

  1. In a few days, it will be the 2 year anniversary since I lost my little one. I understand completely how you feel. I now have an almost one year old and I tell myself all the time, if I hadn’t lost that baby, I wouldn’t have my princess. It helps a little but doesn’t take the pain away completely. (((HUGS))) You are not alone.

    1. Thanks for reaching out. It’s really hard to deal with that kind of emotional pain. It’s so hard. All I can think is “What if I had done this differently? What if I had not stressed myself out too much or taken my prenatals every day?” The possibilities of all the things I could have done or should have done differently haunt me. It’s really hard. I keep thinking that there was some way I could have prevented it, but… At the same time, in my rational mind, I know there was nothing I could have done.

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