This might come off morbid… Maybe it is… I don’t know… But sometimes I wish I had been further along with Jacey when I lost her.

I know losing a baby is traumatic… A miscarriage is traumatic… But one of the biggest things that haunts me about it… is the fact I never got to see her. I never got to touch her, hold her, kiss her, bury her… Take a picture of her. I never got that…

I’d have done anything to just see her…even if only for a moment…

And sometimes… That bothers me.

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I am Samantha. I am twenty years old, and have a gorgeous little girl, and a baby boy who I am expecting in May. I am married to my best friend in the entire world. I am a full time student, and am torn between pursuing a career as a midwife, or going to medical school to become an obstetrician.

4 thoughts on “Jacey”

  1. I’m not sure how far along you were when you lost Jacey, but to loose a baby at any point is heartbreaking and life-changing. I have so many wishes also, but I try not to dwell on them…otherwise they just eat at me. Thank you for being open about this. So many people are afraid to talk about this kind of loss.
    .-= Lua´s last blog ..Love the Gulf! =-.

  2. my heart breaks because you had to go through losing your child. I’m so sorry. I do think it is so good that you talk about it. I’ve had a few friends go through this and they all say so many people don’t talk about it, so I know you can help so many others who have. thanks for sharing.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words… I don’t think its easy for any woman to go through this kind of thing… And I do think that talking about it helps… It helps validate that your baby did exist and they were loved… Instead of sweeping it under the rug… A lot of women just don’t talk about it…

  3. oh i know how u feel;and ive totally learned/realized that no one can put a limit on ur pain or tell u that u dont deserve to feel a certain way

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