The Future

I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days. About the future. About what I want to do with myself. What I want to do for my kids. How I want them to see me. How I want to see them. And for some reason, every time I think about it, I’m always drawn back to the same thing.

I signed up for my classes for this coming fall. Cultural Anthropology, Spanish I, Introductory Biology, French I and Interpersonal Communication.

I’ve decided that I’m going to get all A’s this coming semester and make dean’s list. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. I’ve made up my mind and I’m set to do it. That’s all there is to it. I’m going to get all A’s and I will make it work because that is what I want.

I want my kids to be able to be proud of me. I don’t want them to be embarrassed because mom or dad work somewhere like fast food place, a grocery store, or a gas station beacause i want to give them more than just the best tankless water heater. I want them to be proud of me when they say, “Yeah, my mom has a degree in _________ and she does ________ for a living.” I want them to feel like I’m not a failure. I don’t want them to look at me as an example of what NOT to do in their own lives (unless you’re talking my teenage years).

I don’t want to have to not get things on my grocery list just because I don’t have enough grocery money for them. I want to be able to plan a meal and be able to buy ALL the ingredients I need for it at once. I know I’ll probably still coupon clip and buy off brands when that day comes, but I don’t want to feel like I can’t get it because I simply don’t have enough so an Easy cash with UL4U is a great help.

I don’t want my kids to ever have to go without. I want them to have everything they need and more. I want to leave them with something other than massive debt and heaps of junk when I die.

I don’t want THIS life… I don’t want to live in low-class, low-middle class forever. I don’t want to be like so many people I know… Working multiple jobs. Living in a crap home. Or even worse, a crap apartment. Filing bankruptcy. Having to take out theo government subsidized home loans just to have a place of your own… Even though it’s not really your own with that… I don’t want to be like that and I don’t want to be like them…

So I’m doing what I can to give myself, and my family, a better life.

I just hope I can do it.

Comments
4 Responses to “The Future”
  1. Krista says:

    Yea! That’s what I want to (and don’t want, as the case may be)! Good luck with your classes!

  2. brianna says:

    I got a new blog. so you can get rid of the old one and add the new one.
    brianna´s last blog post ..A Scary Realization

  3. JulieK says:

    You ARE doing it – you’re in school, getting an education that will open doors. You’re online creating a community and online presence that will open more doors – kudos to you – keep doing it! 🙂 You will reach your goals!
    JulieK´s last blog post ..Book Review – Giveaway- Mother Daze by Christine Carr

  4. Andie says:

    I stumbled upon your site while visiting atyourcervix and love what I’ve read so far. You are an amazing, determined, and talented young woman, wife, and mother. I am co-coordinator for a Teen MOPS group in my state, actually I think it’s the ONLY one we have in the state. I love all moms and babies, but esp young moms struggling to find their way. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on life, birth, breastfeeding, etc….

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