I made the most disgusting dessert to ever be seen on this planet.

Strawberry almond tapioca pudding.

Of course, the kids loved it. It was their idea in the first place. I had made normal tapioca and was making a second batch with almond milk for Ava and next thing I know, the kids are begging and pleading with me to add strawberry powder to it. So, I did, and it was absolutely disgusting.

And of course, I forgot a few ingredients in the cupboards. I am the most inefficient cook there is. I end up going to the same cupboard six times to get things out, rather than making one trip.

Because I used strawberry powder in the unsweetened almond milk, I went ahead and skipped the three tablespoons of sugar that you’re supposed to add to the pot.

And of course, I rand out of regular tapioca. At first I was just frustrated, but then I realized I had the giant boba tapioca pearls that my neighbor left at my house forever ago. I figured I could grind them with my Magic Bullet to about the right size and it might work.

I ground it up a little bit smaller than it looks like in this picture. Lucky enough for me, it worked! It turned out like normal tapioca, even using the big boba pearls. Just be sure to grind it all down pretty small, otherwise you might end up with undercooked tapioca and that’s just gross.

So, just like regular tapioca, I added the whipped egg and put it in the refrigerator to cool. Of course, Maddi and Danny had to ask me every five minutes “Is it cool yet? Can I have some yet? Is it done yet? I want some, mom!” I wanted to gag just imagining how it would taste.

Thankfully little kids think that all sorts of disgusting things taste great. I don’t remember what it was, but there was something I was all excited to eat because I used to love it when I was a kid… Then I took a bite and it was disgusting. Thankfully my kids aren’t picky and are apparently immune to bad cooking. They loved the tapioca. Maddi and Danny even asked for seconds.

My poor kids, having to put up with my cooking.

So, I am completely and utterly unmotivated to do much of anything for my schoolwork… Mostly because it’s an art project that we’re supposed to do, and I’m broke. I can’t do a decent art project if I don’t have the correct supplies, and I can’t get the right supplies, if I have no money to buy them! It’s all one giant frustration. We’re supposed to make some kind of native art or something… I think… I’m going to dig around for some glue, and use a paper towel tube, and some left over scrap booking paper and yarn to make a rainstick with rice inside it. It might be a little elementary, but it will be fun, and it’s “in the style” of native artwork. So, maybe she’ll give me an A for effort? I’m too broke to buy anything right now.

Meanwhile, we were going to go to anchorage tonight after Dan got off work, and get a hotel for the night, so we can go to his uncle’s funeral tomorrow, but we’re broke. So we’re just going to leave early tomorrow morning, go to the funeral, and drive home afterward. It’s kind of weird that they waited so long to have the funeral, but I’m not too entirely sure how all of that works, so who am I to determine what’s long and what’s not. Dan’s uncle was only 50 years old though, I’m really hoping Dan looks at this and starts taking better care of himself.

I’m still using the evening primrose oil, one capsule, three times daily by mouth, and three capsules at night vaginally. And I’m drinking my three cups of raspberry leaf tea a day. I’m getting used to the taste. I’m not a very big tea drinker, but I’m starting to like it. It tastes a lot better with honey than with sugar mixed into it. So far it seems to be helping, as my Braxton Hicks are a lot stronger than they were. We’ll see at my appointment on Friday!

Meanwhile, Maddi is being a pill. She’s going through this phase where she thinks she needs to throw all of her freaking food on the floor. It dosen’t matter if she was begging and whining for food before I gave it to her, the second I put food in front of her in the high chair, she thinks she needs to throw it! And she knows what she’s doing is wrong! I’ll say “No!” and “Don’t throw your food!” really stern, and she just looks at me and does it anyways. This has been going on for a couple weeks… Probably closer to a month. Today, she threw her lunch on the floor, so I swatted her hand, put the food on her tray, and told her not to throw it on the floor. She looked right at me, and threw it again! I swatted her hand, picked her up and put her in bed for her naptime without lunch. I know it sounds mean, but obviously, if she’s throwing her food, she’s not hungry. Needless to say, when she got up from her nap, and it was dinner time, she ate EVERYTHING on her tray. So, I think that’s the approach I’ll take. If she throws it, she gets down from her high chair. I don’t make her food, and buy her food just for her to waste it because she wants to be a brat. It’s just so frustrating! I hate to make her take a nap with an empty belly, but she CANNOT keep doing this! Food is for eating. Not throwing!

Meanwhile, Dan has showed some interest in becoming a lawyer, and personally, I think it’d be a GREAT career choice, our lawyer is from https://www.pewlaw.com/ and he has always admire all his work. That boy can win any debate under the sun. Heck, he’s won debates FOR smoking, and AGAINST going to college, which is crazy, but it just goes to show, he’s got talent! He’s very good with words, and very good at arguing, which can be frustrating for me sometimes. That’s one thing that irritates me about him, almost anything I say or believe, he wants to hear my argument for it, or my evidence. I don’t plan on debates. Personally, I don’t like debates. They frustrate me and I hate participating in them. I’m not clever and witty and quick like he is. But I do think those very same characteristics that annoy me, would make him an AMAZING lawyer. We’ll see if he decides that’s the path he wants to take. Whatever decision he makes, I’ll support it, so long as it’s something that he really wants to do, and something he can help support his family on.

I think I’m getting the end-of-pregnancy-grumpies. I’m like seriously cranky and I can’t help it. I’m trying not to be, but I am! It’s like… everything makes me go GRRRR! I can’t wait to meet this little guy. I need to issue the kid an eviction notice or something! I would love to have my LUNG CAVITY back to myself and quit having to share it with a roommate who refuses to pay any rent, but insists on giving me indigestion, cramps, braxton hicks, nausea, etc, etc. He he he. As miserable as the end is, I loved being pregnant (well, mostly up until the point I couldn’t breathe anymore..) but this will be my last baby for a long time.

I don’t plan on having any more kids until after I finish my nursing degree. I don’t know how many I plan on having after that. I might have more. I might not. I’m really not sure. I’d like to plan on it, but I don’t know. I might decide that I have different priorities and goals by then. We’ll just have to wait and see. I just know that I need to have a good degree before I have any more babies. I need to be able to provide for the two I have. When I can do that successfully, then I’ll consider having more. Until then, I’m done. Shutting down the baby-making shop.

Meanwhile, I have the most amazing song stuck in my head. I used to listen to it all the time when I was sixteen or seventeen, and I’ve been obsessed with the band ever since then. “Okay, I believe you, but my tommy gun don’t.” by Brand New.

“Wouldn’t stop if I could.
Oh, it hurts to be this good.”

Such a hot song. I love it.

“Oh, we’re so controversial
We are entirely smooth
We admit to the truth
We are the best at what we do
And these are the words you wish you wrote down
This is the way you wish your voice sounds
Handsome and smart
Ooh, my tongue’s the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart”

What can I say? Hearing all these old songs I used to listen to back in the day kind of brings on an inspiration in me. They make me wonder, if at that age, where I am now, was what I saw myself doing at this age. It’s an interesting thought to ponder… Sometimes I think I’m doing well, and 20 year old me, isn’t a disappointment to 17 year old me, and other times, I wonder if I could do better. It varies depending on my mood.

Anyways, I really should do my homework now.

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